#i think she knows the difference and just doesn't have the vocabulary to explain what she wants

[the-badger-mole]

Clouds, Fog and Mists

The scholars and archeologists that Aang had been working with had come out of their museum basements and dimly lit studies with a wealth of Air Nomad histories and artifacts that had been lost during the war. Aang now had access to recipes he hadn't tasted in years, scrolls that gave historical context to the things he had just begun learning at age 12, and objects he had never seen, but was excited to learn the use of. At 22, he was just now learning that the Air Nomads had a variety of subcultures and customs he'd never encountered, even though he had visited every Air Temple that existed back then.

"Did you know..." became as common to his vocabulary as "hello" and "custard tart". Every day, he approached his wife with some new bit of lore he'd learned.

"Did you know that the Southern Air Nomads had a Festival of Remembrance?" he'd excitedly asked as Katara was hanging the laundry out to try. She was only half listening while she tried to keep Bumi, their nearly three year old son out of the basket of wet sheets, but she gave a polite hum of encouragement.

"For a whole week," Aang continued needing no further prompting, "no one was allowed to play music or speak. They even wore velvet over their feet so their footsteps wouldn't be too loud. Then, at the end of it, there was a huge party! Loud as anything with music and plays and games. I think I remember going one of those ending parties, but I didn't know about the vow of silence before it."

"That's fascinating, sweetie," Katara said, rubbing her heavy belly with a look of discomfort. She was seven months along with their second child, and this one was very active. "Bumi, last warning. Do not touch the clean clothes!"

"Okay, Mommy!" Bumi said before swatting at one of the sheets Katara had hung on the line. She sighed and turned to her husband.

"Can you take him?" she asked. "I'm tired, and I'd like to take a nap after I finish this."

"Oh," Aang said reluctantly. "I was going to have an afternoon session with the Acolytes. I'm dying to tell them what I've been learning."

"Aang, please?" Katara sagged tiredly, taking Bumi's hand and pulling him away from all her hard work.

"Alright," Aang sighed. "I'll watch him for a bit. Come on, Bumi! Let's go practice some air katas! I want you to be ready when your airbending kicks in!"

-:-:-:-:-:-

All Air Nomads were airbenders. That's what Aang had always been taught. He had to account for late bloomers, of course, but at age four, going on five, if Bumi was going to be an airbender, there would've been signs by now. Kya was a lost cause. She had started waterbending just before her second birthday, and despite the fact that her father was the Avatar, there was no chance that she would inherit the ability to control more than one element.

"Well, maybe it's not true that all Air Nomads were benders," Katara said with a shrug. "After all, not every Water Tribesman is a waterbender, and not everyone in the Earth Kingdom is an earthbender."

"It's different," Aang insisted. "The monks told me that all Air Nomads were benders because we have a unique connection with our spirituality." Katara didn't quite manage to hide her annoyance from him.

"Then explain our kids," she said. "Unless you're the first Air Nomad in history to have children with a non-Air Nomad, someone somewhere got something wrong." Aang went quiet after that. He had no response.

"Just because the Air Nomads may have had children with people from other nations doesn't mean that their children were Air Nomads," an acolyte named Qiao said. She was one of the most apt and studious of Aang's Air Acolytes, and they had spent many hours together pouring over the newly discovered texts. Sometimes, Aang thought that she had a better grasp of Air Nomad culture than even he did.

"I suppose....I suppose that's true," Aang said thoughtfully, taking a sip of his tea.

"The Air Nomads were mostly not monogamous," Qiao pointed out. "I'm sure there were a lot of Nomads who had understandings with their lovers from other nations. Especially among the Air Acolytes of the day."

Aang pondered that for the rest of the day. Then the next. Then the rest of the week before he finally approached Katara. He found her by the fountain with Kya and Bumi. Kya was busy making imperfect little shapes with the water while Katara was teaching Bumi how to put his hair into a warrior's wolf tail.

"You look just like your uncle Sokka," she laughed, pressing a kiss on her son's cheek. "I bet you'll be a great warrior just like him, too." That twisted Aang's gut uncomfortably. He cleared his throat to get Katara's attention.

"Hey, sweetie," he said.

"Hey," Katara smiled at him. "We're just about to have story time. Do you want to stick around for How Umiak Rowed Her Boat to the Stars?"

"Oh, um..."Aang shifted uncomfortably on his feet. "Sure. I was just...thinking of something."

"Yeah?" Katara raised her brow at him. "What?"

"I was just thinking of how all the Air Nomads were benders." Katara didn't bother trying to hide her disgusted snort or the rolling of her eyes.

"Okay, and?" she huffed. "Did you draw any new conclusions?"

"I can't have been the only Air Nomad to have children with someone from a different culture," he said. Katara stared at him blankly for a long moment.

"I told you that," she responded finally. "It's just now sinking in?'

"No, I understood you," Aang told her. He kicked at the ground. There was a loose pebble under his toe and he focused on rolling it back and forth. "It's just...well, the Air Nomads, they weren't strictly monogamous."

"Monogamous," Katara scoffed. "That's a big word for you." Aang bristled a bit at that, but he took a breath and let it go.

"I was just reading," Aang said with a shrug. "It occurred to me that maybe because the Air Nomads weren't monogamous, they just didn't bring their non-bending kids into the Air Nomad society." Katara looked up at Aang with her eyes wide.

"That's awful!" she said. "So because their kids didn't bend the right elements, they had to be cut off from one of their parents?"

"No, I'm sure it wasn't as bad as all that-" Aang started to protest.

"What exactly are you saying, Aang?" There was a dangerous edge to Katara's voice. A warning.

"Nothing, nothing!" he scrambled back, tripping over his tongue, trying to call back his words, and cursing himself for trying to bring up the subject without a plan. Katara eyed him coldly. She was angry and trying not to show it.

"It's time for lunch," she told her children. "Let's go inside and fix something to eat."

"But Mommy," Bumi protested. "I want to hear about Umiak!" Katara turned to him with a tight smile.

"That's okay, sweetie," she said. "I'll tell you while you help me fix lunch." With one last scowl at Aang, she took Bumi's hand and swung Kya up onto her hip and went inside.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Aang felt vindicated when it was discovered that he and Qiao were right. The Air Nomads would often leave non-airbending children with their non-Nomad parents. Sometimes the Air Nomad parent would stay with their non-Nomad partners and build a life with them and their children (something he made a note to tell Katara about). Then it was discovered that they were only partially right.

Some of the Air Nomads stayed and raised mixed heritage families. Some left their non-airbending children behind with their non-Nomad partners. That was expected. Reasonable, even. What Aang was not expecting, however, were the accounts of non-airbending children being given away. Some were adopted, and those adoptions were traceable through documents and letters. Others were sold. Those transactions were traceable, too. By most accounts, those children went into indentured servitude and many of them learned trades and were able to start businesses once their indenture was up. Aang tried to focus on the positives. Katara, however, was horrified.

"What right did they have to sell those children into...into slavery?" she demanded hotly while they were getting ready for bed.

"I'm sure it wasn't that bad," Aang insisted. "After all, the Air Nomads wouldn't have put children into situations where they could've been hurt."

"Yes," Katara sneered. "I'm sure their new owners were very gentle with their exploitation."

"That isn't fair!" Aang protested. "Do you know how difficult it would've been for those kids to live among the Nomads?"

"Probably about as easy as it's been for our kids." Katara glared at Aang meaningly. He felt his cheeks heat as he looked away, pretending not to understand.

Bumi was going on eight now, and Kya was five. They were both old enough to ask questions about why it was so difficult for them to move around their own home. Katara and the Acolytes had an easier time being adults and able to maneuver obstacles that short legs and small hands couldn't without help, but it was still a regular challenge to get around the Air Temple for them. Aang was in the process of building a complex near Republic City where non-airbending Acolytes could live and learn with more ease, but it wouldn't be ready for anyone to move into for another year or so. It would be safer for children with no airbending ability, too. Aang glanced over at Katara from the corner of his eye, at the soft swell of her stomach, already showing signs of pregnancy at her second month.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Tenzin was the last of Aang's children with Katara, and the only airbender. When he was almost one, he airbent for the first time, and Aang couldn't stop celebrating for an entire week. When Tenzin was two, the first of the burial mounds were discovered.

Archaeologists working at the mostly restored Northern Air Temple found it at the base of the mountain. There were several layers to the grave, suggesting generations' worth of use. Most of the bones were small. Infant and toddler sized. The largest bones were about the size of an average eight year old. The bones were all jumbled together, as if they had been tossed in a heap. Some of them wore the clothes they were buried in, but most of the bones were too broken to hang on to any frabric. There were also no signs of any shrouds or anything indicating that they had been given any of the customary funeral rites of the Air Nomads. The fact that they were found at the base of the mountain in itself was unusual. All the different groups of Air Nomads had their own unique funeral customs, but one thing that remained the same was that they were laid to rest as close to the sky as possible.

When the first reports of how the children came to be at the base of the mountain came out, Aang was certain it was the rankest propaganda. None of the Air Nomads, no matter how stringent they were about non-airbenders living among them, would ever harm a child. For a while, he seemed to be right, as all the proof was from secondary and tertiary sources.

"Lies the Fire Nation used to justify genocide," Aang said confidently.

"But how did the children get there?" Katara asked. Aang had no answer for her. Yet. There must have been a good one, though. Maybe a plague had run through the Air Temple, forcing them to bury the bodies at the bottom of the mountain to prevent contamination, or something equally tragic. Aang began talking to the archaeologists about giving the bones a proper burial as soon as they could be sorted. The count at that time was 700 bodies in the pile and there were still so many more to go.

A few months after that, the oldest of the Air Nomad accounts were uncovered. It went back a good 300 years, and it spoke about a surplus of infants born without the gift of airbending. There were too many to be disposed of the normal ways, and many of the non-bending parents were unwilling or unable to raise the children themselves. The anonymous monk wrote of a meeting to discuss the crisis. They wouldn't be able to care for so many that couldn't get around the temple, or travel with the Nomads. There was a food shortage. A water shortage. An everything shortage. So the head monk suggested giving the children to the air. That had been the first time the practice had been recorded, near as anyone could tell. But some of the bones were older than that.

That's what they called it. It sounded lovely. Poetic even. In practice, though, the babies were carried to the edge of the temple grounds and held in the air. A short prayer was said for the souls of the children, and then they just...let go. They were so high up, they probably couldn't hear the children hit the ground.

The public began to call them the Fog Children. They were babies born to Air Nomad parents, but without airbending abilities themselves. People clung to the term and it soon spread all over the world in hushed whispers. Aang hated it. Katara hated it. It was the only thing they could agree on by that time.

"It isn't fair!" Aang bemoaned. "It's like people are using it to justify the Fire Nation killing all the Air Nomads."

"If it bothers you so much," Katara said after she'd put the kids to bed, "then speak up! Condemn what they did."

"I do!" Aang insisted. He had protested, loudly that all of the Air Nomads shouldn't be judged by what one fringe sect did.

"Not just them," Katara said. "All of it. It's just like with the Fire Nation. Remember what Zuko said? You can't expect to move forward without acknowledging the past. All of it was wrong. The Air Nomads treated their non-bending children as if they had no value. Condemn the adoptions and abandonings and the selling of the children!"

"How is it my responsibility to make up for all of that?" Aang demanded.

"You're the only one left," Katara reminded him, trying to be gentle. "I'm not saying you have to call the Air Nomads monsters. They did something wrong. They were human. You can acknowledge that and commit to being better than that."

"How?"

"Start with your children."

It had been a frequent argument between Katara and Aang how Aang treated their children. Bumi was 13 now, well on his way to becoming a man. Kya was 11 and Tenzin was five. Often, Katara would quiz Aang on his children- what Kya's favorite color was, or the name of Bumi's best friend. Aang could admit that he was correct about Tenzin more often than the others, but it was only because Aang had so much he had to teach his youngest. Katara should've understood that. After all, there were things she did with Kya that she couldn't do with Bumi or Tenzin.

"It's not the same," Katara told him. Aang could never remember why, though.

For the next year or so, Aang spent much of his time doing damage control. He did his best to separate the practices at the Northern Air Temple and the particular sect of Air Nomad culture that grew around it from the rest of the Air Nomads. Every criticism of the culture was met sharply by Aang's rebuttals and justifications. Penning article after article espousing the virtues of the Air Nomads at large became his full time job, and obsession. It took him two weeks to notice that Katara had left with all three of his children, and another month for him to find the letter Katara had left in his bedside table telling him she was seeking a divorce.

He got Tenzin three months of the year. It was all he could manage, being completely unused to parenting alone. Aang taught his son what he could of airbending and the Nomad philosophy he could in that time, and did his best to ignore the people whispering fog children in the same breath as his oldest children.

[zenkindoflove]

You guys do not want to go down the road of starting to make blanket declarations that specific ships are "problematic" and "triggering". And let me explain why.

ACOTAR fandom, in my experience, is notoriously very far removed from general fandom. It's big and dispersed across many platforms that weren't created around fandoms, and so a lot of people enter it having little to no experience in other fandoms.

This discourse about what is or isn't a problematic ship and what kind of person ships a couple like that is not new. Fandoms of yesterday yore have had long fights about this and a general consensus has emerged which is anytime you start playing the morality policing game around people having fun with fictional characters, everyone loses.

Let's take this situation with Elain Archeron Week which is explicitly banning submissions for Elain with characters who are canonically known to be abusive to a romantic partner. Generally, the spirit of character weeks are to be ship neutral and importantly a concept that has emerged from prior fandom morality policing debate is the term Ship and Let Ship. Which means just because something isn't YOUR ship doesn't mean you need to come up for reasons why it isn't CORRECT to ship.

So, you think it's morally incorrect and triggering for people to see Elain paired with an abuser or a "bad guy"? That is okay for your own personal beliefs but if you start making rules around it for something that is supposed to be inclusive where do you draw the line or what that means? How about pairing Elain with the guy who runs Night Court Abu Ghraib? A role that means he actually tortures people physically and mentally to the brink that they are forced to "confess" to crimes. Is that some how morally superior to another character who emotionally abused their partner and confined them to a house?

See. That didn't feel good. Now did it? Do you actually want to get into a discussion about which wrong is morally worse than the other? Especially when it concerns a character week that is supposed to be about positivity and people having fun because they love Elain and they love the different interactions she could potentially have with characters in fanon?

And that is the entire point. When it comes to fiction, we all will be seduced by characters who have done bad things. Things that will trigger people. But, and I mean this whole heartedly, no one else is responsible for your triggers but you. You are the only one who knows what you can and cannot handle. Your Mileage May Vary. Tumblr's tag filtering system is in part for this very reason because of how fandoms use tumblr.

When you have a fandom wide event space, generally it's a bad idea to start throwing up these judgmental rules around people's character interests and shipping habits. Of course, any event runner is entitled to do what they please. But you also have to expect those who are excluded or know people who will be excluded are going to have something to say about it.

I really think the entire ACOTAR fandom could benefit from getting curious for once and actually digging into the histories of fandom, fandom lore and vocabulary, and start learning from from fandom elders. If so, we'd all be able to navigate these situations with a shared language that recognizes that the primary goal of fandom is to have fun first. And everyone's fun is going to look different and each individual is responsible for deciding what their squicks and triggers are. And the whole point of a squick is to let someone know this thing bothers me personally but I understand if it doesn't bother you. That sort of back and forth empathy across each side is how fandoms don't burn down in flames and people don't feel shame about what they like in fiction.

Now any fandom event can make whatever rules they want. But what I already see is a bunch of people (e/riels) are now actually making posts about why others who ship Elain with Tamlin are morally inferior, disgusting, perverse, and bad people. But hear me out, someone can easily think and say the same thing about you and your ship and if that is the kind of environment you'd like to fuck around in, well, aren't we all the worse off for it.

[deadbydangit]

Hiiiiii. So I had a silly thought.i thought would maybe make you laugh? How would huntress, Knight, and trickster react to an S/o who likes to bite on their shoulder? Like, reader will show up at random points and just chew for a few seconds before *poof* disappearing. I really love your works, and I'm really hoping things look up for you soon. 🧡🧡

Hmm, I think I can do that. I'm sorry if this one is a little shorter. To make up for that I added Mastermind. Please enjoy.

With a Reader who likes to bite playfully.

Huntress, Mastermind, Knight, Trickster

Huntress

Hmm?

Why are you biting her?

Anna is able to tell the difference between a playful bite and an aggressive one.

So as long as you don't bite down too hard, she won't take it as a threat.

But she will be very confused.

She might even bite herself to check.

Is she edible?

Has she been edible all this time and not even know it?

You're going to have to explain to her.

But before that, patch up the spot where she bit herself.

She will be bleeding.

Gentle is not a word in her vocabulary.

She was actually trying to eat herself.

After lots of explaining, she'll finally start to understand.

And she might even try and bite you herself.

Which will probably end poorly on your part.

Again, gentle is not a word in her vocabulary.

So you're either going to have to teach her how to bite gently, or stop biting altogether.

Sure, Anna is a little rough around the edges.

But her clueless naive nature is just so cute.

Mastermind

He doesn't have time for this nonsense.

"What on earth are you doing?"

"Are you trying to make me angry?"

He has lots of questions.

He's not expecting an answer, he's just really confused.

"Why are you biting me?"

He won't take it as a threat.

Not because he doesn't whether or not to take it as a threat.

It's because he knows he's much stronger than you.

Besides, a little bite isn't going to stop the great Albert Wesker.

Once you explain, he'll start to chuckle.

He's amused at your antics.

"Well, I suppose if there is no ill intent."

He might even bite you back.

Problem is that he's amazing at sneaking up at you.

He'll bite you on the side of the neck, the ear, or the hand.

He just wants to see you jump and panic.

And after you do, he'll chuckle and whisper in your ear.

"I'm sorry dear heart. Did I frighten you?"

He's having fun.

Hey, you started this. He's not going to stop.

Knight

First off: oww.

Where are you going to bite him?

Like, he never takes off his armor.

Ever.

You're going to be biting into rusty, bloodsoaked metal.

You have fun with that.

If you do manage to catch him without his armor on, you'll have to be quick.

He's got very sharp reflexes and will use them.

Even if he doesn't mean to, he could still hurt you.

It's a force of habit for him.

If you do manage to bite him, he'll be shocked.

Possibly angry.

"What is this? You attack me? After all the trust I've placed in you?"

Tarhos we'll take this as a threat to a safety.

So you'll have to explain really fast.

Or, you know, risk getting your head chopped off or something by an angry knight.

He's skeptical about it.

He knows you aren't lying, but he still didn't like it.

"I see. Please refrain from doing that again."

He'll look angry.

But he'll probably ruffle your hair or something.

"If you wish to give me attention, just ask."

"There are better ways to gain affection without biting like an animal."

Trickster

Ji-Woon actually doesn't mind.

Like, at all.

He finds it really attractive.

It's a real turn-on for him.

So long as you don't mark up his beautiful skin.

If you do, then he'll be upset.

"Careful, you don't want to cut my beautiful skin, do you?"

He's really self-conscious about his appearance.

But he doesn't really have any room to talk considering what he's done to you.

He'll bite you back, but he'll bite hard.

He has a thing for seeing others in pain.

He loves looking at all the marks he leaves on your body.

If it's too much, you'll have to tell him.

Otherwise he'll keep doing it.

And he doesn't care if he cuts your skin and makes you bleed.

In fact, that really gets him going.

His favorite place to bite you is the side of your neck.

His favorite place to be bitten is his shoulder and his earlobe.

Whenever you do, he'll chuckle lowly.

"Did you want my attention my dear? Well you've got it."

"Now, entertain me."

So don't bite him unless you're ready to spend a lot of time with him.

[punishing-eden]

Hello, I was wondering if u could do a request,like how the constructs react and do when they realize that commandant is deathly afraid of needles. Idk if ur accepting requests at the moment but if you do reply will you do gray/grey raven and strike hawk?? . Thank you in advance(⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)⁠♥

Twas, But a Pinch...

Pgr Headcanons

The clock ticked by in the infirmary room. You were sitting by the waiting bench. Your leg was shaking out of nervousness. If you could, you would have opted out of the appointment, but you know it can't...

Wanshi (Hypnos)

Wanshi was sleeping in the infirmary room, when he was rudely awakened by you making a scene.

The nurse told you to take a small break before proceeding. Sitting at the waiting bench, you tried to calm your beating heart.

"What's all that ruckus about?" Wanshi seems to came out of nowhere to ask. You were flustered by his question.

"I need to take my shot, and I just can't take it... The needles... " you couldn't finish your sentence.

Wanshi understood what you were going through, and this wasn't the first time he comes across patients like you.

He suddenly asks you questions like, "How your catLee?".

Then, he would play little games with you, drawing patterns on your skin for you to guess what he was drawing.

For a rare moment, you saw Wanshi smiled at you.

"Hm? Is there something on my face?" you asked.

"Done!" the nurse said. You were surprised and turned to see the nurse had already given you your shot, and was patching the small wound up.

Wanshi had distracted you from the pain and the attention to the needle.

"Well, my job here is done," Wanshi said before crawling back to one of the infirmary beds. He quickly fell alseep. Leaving you, dumbfounded.

Lee (Paleflame/Entropy)

Lee knows about your fear of needles, he had seen you struggle to take serums by yourself during missions, and needed Liv's to help.

He has rationalized your fear the moment you explained it to him. Yet, it doesn't prepare him to see you crawling that his arm, as the nurse tried to give you your IV drip.

"Now is not the time to be messing around," he said. The held his usual scowl.

But you would not budge, you keep holding on to Lee, crying and begging.

He think it would make you feel less afraid if you know all about the logistics and process of getting an IV.

Lee proceeds to tell you the step by step process. He uses many scientific vocabulary, and provided numbers from statistics.

He says it with such rationale and seriousness, he had failed to noticed you had already braced the inevitable and put the IV catheter on.

You rather just get it done with than to hear Lee ramble about it.

"Lee... We are done..." you said to get him to stop.

Lee stops immediately, and thinks he did a job well done. "Well, that was effective and quick. I shall see you in a 2 hours."

Goes back to his room and continues to dismantle his gears.

Lucia (Plume)

Very proactive in voicing her concerns about your fear in your monthly body check up.

"Will you be okay with it, Commandant?"

You reassured her you will be find, but deep down you are not fine.

Lucia would be in doubt as well, so she decided to go with you.

To see you go through this much for an injection, Lucia wish she could do something, but she can't. She wishes Liv was there.

She could only try to get you to calm down. "Commandant, you don't have to get it if you don't want to." she said.

"No, I have to..." you voice shook, "It's an requirement." Whatever your decision is, she fully supports, and be with you through the whole way.

The appointment lasted longer that it was expected. You finally got your shot.

Kamui (Bastion/ Tenebrion)

Does not, and could not, understand your fear at all.

He is genuinely confused when you told him about it. "Hm? How come?" he asked.

"But don't you have to take serums too? Those bottles got needles as well." he said.

You tried to explain to Kamui that the serum bottles were different. You have your own way of injecting it yourself, and Liv would also be there to help.

He wants to understand it and asked, "Can you show it to me?"

He probably word it incorrectly. You flat out said no. You don't want to subject yourself to your fear if it's not nesscary.

He ruminates on that thought about human fear to the point Chrome gets worried by how silent Kamui is.

Chrome (Archlight)

Chrome would ponder about your phobia, trying to find a solution for it.

Pours all his after hours into looking for better ways to help you overcome or to lessen the fear of your upcoming injection appointment.

Chrome invites you to meet up with him, and proceeds to tell you, "Commandant, I have a few exercises that I think would help with your phobia."

So essentially, he tried many ways to help you to overcome needles, and is very diligent about it.

However, he would not be accompany you to the infirmary on your appointment for, 1, he's busy, and 2, he believes these matters is your privacy, and to accompany would be inappropriate.

Needless to say, he will be thinking about you constantly.

Liv (Benediction)

Liv is the only one you trust around needles.

You know she will not hurt you on purpose, and is experienced enough to know how to work around your phobia

Liv, at first, was a little shocked and worried about your phobia of needles. There are many medical procedure that needs the use of needles.

But, she persisted to know what is the most comfortable for you and help you with serum injections.

Hence, whenever there are needles involved, Liv will alway take over that duty for you and administer the injection.

If Liv is not with you, she would leave a step by step guide for the other person to help you with injections.

All was well, and you are good to go after that.

(C) Punishing Eden

══════════════════

Author's notes:

This has been sitting in my ask for a while. I have been slowly getting back at gaming recently, so my characterisation might be a little rusty for the time being.

-Punishing eden

[northopalshore]

Hi

As leo mercury retrograde 27 degree in 11H

I'm virgo sun mars Jupiter so im ruled by mercury does that affect?

What's the best way to learn a language

English is my second language but the language just slipped in my mind and I can't explain it 😭

♀ Hello

I think that could definitely be the case.

The Logic of Language genius placements in astrology

Key characters: Gemini & Sagittarius

I always found that Gemini moons & mercuries are the best when it comes to learning new languages; it's very natural to them. Like my mother has Sun, Mercury & Saturn in Gemini in the 11th house & she speaks 5-6 languages.

My late grandfather is the type to learn languages as fast as memorizing lyrics to your favourite songs; super quick. My family has always had this amazed look in their eyes whenever they told me stories about his language crusades (he used to be a political advisor) lmao. Though, I've never met him his stories never seem to bore me. I only wish my grandmother kept some of his cameras he used to love photography. He took pictures of my mother often. Although I don't have his chart, I'm certain there is a lot of Gemini & Sagittarius influence in it.

My friend has Gemini stellium in the 1st house (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Saturn 💀) she literally has a different accent from the once she had at birth; state dialect. She's the only one who sounds different in her family, she speaks 4-5 languages. Quick to catch other languages as well.

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

However, when it comes to the level of proficiency of languages I always found that Sagittarius placements tend to mean their reach or language understanding gets much deeper; they tend to speak fewer languages compared to Gemini placements, but they really know the language, different slangs & all. They copy slangs & pronunciations very quickly as well.

& In the case without Gemini or Sagittarius placements:

I know Lisa doesn't have any prominent Gemini or Sagittarius placements in her natal chart, but she has Virgo in her third house & mars (°22 Capricorn) here. She literally had to learn a language to survive ( when she first flew to South Korea for her training with YG). Like they say about the 22 degree; it's killed or be killed. I recall reading something from a post somewhere years ago that YG literally banned her from speaking English ʕ⁠´⁠•⁠ ⁠ᴥ⁠•̥⁠`⁠ʔ.

Her 3rd house ruler ( Mercury) is in the 10th house in Aries & a Sagittarius degree so it still tracks, just not as obvious as the other examples.

Honestly the best way to learn a language fluently is by

1) Having interest

2) Being able to communicate with someone who speaks that language natively or get real-time feedback

3) Having fun with that language & watching media/memes from that languages' speaking community.

But that's just how I prefer to learn it. Of course learning the basic rules, expanding your vocabulary & understanding grammatical functions are important, but remember that LANGUAGE COMES WITH THE CULTURE IT'S ATTACHED TO you can't have one without the other.

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

Hope this helps!

[uriekukistan]

hey oomf...idk if i should be asking this but what resources/apps/websites do you use for japanese?

i started earlier this year around in may with duolingo but i don't really do it religiously and everything but it's like the only thing i use so if you do have any you're willing to share it would be nice :D

hope your illness is better now, getting sick always sucks

noo this is perfectly fine to ask i love helping ppl get started w japanese :D thank you for the ask !!

generally speaking, i do not recommend duolingo japanese for anything more than mere practice. if youre looking for an app experience, i'd actually recommend busuu over duolingo bc it actually takes the time to explain grammar concepts, whereas duolingo trains you to remember sentences. so like idk i feel like busuu better prepares you to encounter new words in the wild and use them.

i learned using the genki textbooks, which i think is pretty common. you can find both volumes and their respective workbooks here.

also w japanese i recommend getting as much practice w the different areas of language as possible (writing reading speaking listening) which duolingo doesn't really do. here you can find reading practice from absolute beginner to intermediate level, after that you can try reading young adult novels and some manga.

for listening, i like comprehensible japanese. she has a lot of great videos. when learning to speak as babies, we learn first through listening, so i think this is the most important thing to practice. she has videos for all different levels, she speaks very clearly, and she provides clear visuals so you can adapt to words you may not know.

for writing, i usually just keep a diary in japanese. i've done this since like week 1 and its cool to see your progress, but it also gives you a space to review what you learned. if you learned vocabulary related to clothes, maybe take a bit of time to talk abt your outfit, etc.

speaking is hardest to practice, and my weakest point. you can find ppl on reddit who are willing to practice speaking w you, or for me, i just talk to myself. i started w something called shadowing, you just listen to someone speaking in japanese and you copy what they're saying. i think its best to do w vloggers rather than anime bc vloggers speak like. realistically where as anime is actually just as cheesy in japanese as the english dub.

japanese is super fun tho, and if you ever wanna practice we can like message in japanese if you want :D i gotta practice mine too tbh, im not actually great w generating speech/text lol

thank you for the ask!! hope you're well :))

[blueepink07]

January 17 - how it relates to Mahiru's personality

I know that her birthday is long gone, but I just couldn't stop myself to not share some thoughts about this day! Every detail in Milgram has a meaning and even the dates the characters were born are giving us insight of their personality!

So without any further ado, let's state the implications that this day has to Mahiru's personality.

"People born on January 17 have incredible physical and emotional endurance."

Mahiru is a very strong person. Despite being beaten up, and having to endure horrible pain, she is still able to emphatise with the other prisoners. She doesn't hold a grudge against Kotoko, not even against Es. (She actually is encouraging Es to do what they want and think is right). She thinks that both are just following their ideals. And despite all the pain, physically and mentally, she can still stand her ground, not giving up on her beliefs and the way she perceives love.

"They trust their intuition more than their intellect."

Mahiru in her VDs describes herself as not being "a smart person". In the first VD, she explains to Es that she has a poor vocabulary, and often uses cliché phrases, most probably found from magasines, dramas and mangas. In the second VD, Mahiru demands Es to explain in a easier way his reasonings for choosing to not forgive her. (don't worry Mahiru, I think you are a smart person, if not academally, than definitely emotionally).

I think because of her self-esteem issues when it comes to her intelligence, and the way she carries herself in life, she tends to be more intuitive. Her decisions during the relationship, "the breakup rituals", the fact that she thinks that she fell in love with her bf "by fate/destiny". Her use of phrases that involves "her heart skipping a beat" alludes with the fact that she follows more her emotions and acts based on how she feels in the moment.

And again, standing up for her beliefs, when there is a chance to receive an unforgiven verdict, proves that she is acting based on what she fells is right.

"They enjoy looking outside of their realm of experience to find people who can show them life-lessons they may not otherwise learn."

Considering that in the first MV, she admits that she arrived recently in Tokyo, most probably to attend University, it shows that she went out of her confort zone, basically "she is looking outside of her realm of experience". Moving to a new city, means a change in lifestyle, meeting new people, discovering locations and gaining new knowledge.

For the people meeting part, in her case it can refer to her bf, from who she learned the beauty of love and tried different hobbies, such as running. But also to the beautician, the person Mahiru states that she gained tips from and considers her a friend and advisor.

"Romance is often unfulfilling: they demand loyalty, holding lovers to almost impossible standards."

Mahiru likes reading magasines and watching dramas, actively consuming such type of entertainment. As I stated in my previous analysis, these are easily changing perspectives and views about different topics. In this case, Mahiru wants a love that is similar to the ones in fiction, movies. So this part from the sentence "holding lovers to almost impossible stardars" makes a lot of sense with her character. Most dramas which have a happy ever after show a love that is sometimes too perfect, something that can be hard to reach. Her bf might have felt pressured about her views of love resulting in a lot of breakups and him wanting to cut ties with her.

Also Mahiru demands loyalty and this can be easily seen in her interrogation questions when she is asked her opinion about cheating.

"Have you ever had an affair?"

"No, never! Cheating is definitely out of question, right?! Right?!"

(sorry because I repeat this part, but I want to include all details!)

"Episodes from their childhood often become the building blocks of opportunity. They have a tendency to overindulge their youngsters to make up for what they didn't have."

Mahiru in the interrogation questions says that her parents were a little bit strict, calling herself a "sheltered girl". She refers to them with terms such as "mom", "dad", meaning that she has a somewhat good relationship with her parents, admitting her gratefulness for their care.

"Did you have a good relationship with your family?"

"I think I was what they call a "sheltered girl". I'm thankful to my mom and dad, but perhaps they were a little strict."

However, because they were too overprotective, a good example for that being that she had to attend an all girls school, Mahiru may have felt a little bit trapped. I think that her desire to experience true love and to travel a lot (as stated in the timeline conversion with Fuuta) comes from the small amount of interactions she had with other boys and maybe the little time she actually had for herself or much better to decide something for herself.

And If you think about it, she is described as having a carefree attitude, the opposite of a strict person. Even if this trait could be sometimes thought in a negative way as if the respective individual doesn't care that much in difficult circumstances, for Mahiru this is definitely not true! She is often shown taking care of others, being a moral support or saying nice things that are lightening the mood! Good examples are her conversation with Muu, in which she assures her that everything will be fine and offers her something sweet, talking with Amane about her parents and then complimenting her behavior and wishing to play with her. Topics that have nothing to do with Milgram, which makes the others to forget just a tiny bit that they are prisoners in a magical prison. Even Kazui is thanking her for doing these things, despite that Mahiru denies these implications.

"What are your thoughts on Amane's changes? "

"Secretly and systemically, they may spend years bending every effort toward a final goal. Money rarely plays a part in career choices for these people, but they have considerable ability to handle financial affairs."

From her first MV, we know that Mahiru works at a part-time job as a florist. And based on the multiple flower imagery in her MV, she likes flowers a lot. She even has a clothes full of flowers! Now, I know that Mahiru says that she doesn't actually know what career she will follow, so this is just me talking nonsense, probably. But I really feel like Mahiru would love to actually work in a flower shop in the future!

"January 17 people need to adopt goals that help them deal with their desires."

The goal we are talking about when it comes to Mahiru is finding true love. She desires to find happiness in a family, where she can be herself. Her first MV focuses on her journey of finding love, successfully being in a relationship, which unfortunately, collapses at the end...

Thank you for reading! This was actually supposed to be much longer... I wanted to analyse many other things about her, but I lost motivation... One day maybe, one day...

Credits/Documentation!

January 17 Astrology

Mahiru MV translations

https://rochisama.wordpress.com/2021/06/24/milgram-mahiru-this-is-how-to-be-in-love-with-you-mv-text/#more-141

Milgram Portal Timeline translations

https://rochisama.wordpress.com/2021/08/26/milgram-portal-timeline-posts/

[damienthepious]

I am on my knees begging for commentary on tbiohc chapter 21, I would love the part where Rilla gives Arum the flowers or where he bites her hand but honestly any section from the chapter at all would be amazing, please share thoughts!!

aslfjsjfaskfj yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah chapter 21 which caused me to write like 3k words in a single day and made me cry at least twice. :D

im gonna do the bite section but before i say anything else i will mention As Per Your Comment (💖💖💖), Rilla bringing two flowers was, indeed, VERY deliberate. On my part, at least. Rilla doesn't think in metaphors quite as much as me... and damien and arum. MOVING ON.

["Can I- would you let me just-"]

Poor Rilla doesn't have a good vocabulary for what she wants, here. There's a BIG gap between this and what she actually wants to say when she posits her Point Four, but... she wants SOME sort of physical contact with him before she makes her case about... well, informed consent, basically. She wants a connection before she tells him that she understands, and she wants to help him ANYWAY. But she doesn't have the right words to explain that desire, so... she just Reaches Out.

[She trails off, and Arum watches her, his violet eyes vivid and wide and still startled. She leaves her hand hanging in the air between them, just- waiting, and after a few breaths Arum looks towards her palm, swallows, and-]

Arum... I don't know if he fully understands what she's asking for either? But also, i hope this has come through, but in the last few chapters, Damien and Arum have gotten fairly comfortable with some casual touch. touching an elbow, poking each other, brushing shoulders. Since Arum can't talk, touch is just... easier, sometimes, when it comes to getting attention or (as shown earlier in this scene) telling someone to BACK OFF before other guards come in the room.

But that is extremely different from an active, specific request for physical contact from someone else. Even someone who Arum has a burgeoning friendship with via letter. and also. she's not just taking what she wants in the situation either. She's offering him a choice, too. Saying please.

[His face twitches, some strange pain crossing it, and then his jaw clenches for a moment before he- he jerks his face towards her, opening his mouth and nipping at the heel of Rilla's thumb before he shoves his cheek into her palm, his eyes squeezing shut and an expression of pained embarrassment on his face.]

i will say again, As Per Your Comment, you are SO right. Arum is extremely, extremely A Cat. This bit...... it just kinda came to me? i was literally staring off into space and imagining BEING ARUM in that moment, imagining what I would want to do, how I would respond, and... the sort of... despair of admitting how badly he wants what she's offering, and the little bit of defiance to at least pretend that he's going to use his teeth on her before he allows something soft.

And the thing is. He could have drawn blood. He did not want to. There's a little bit of the... like... urge to consume what you can't bear to lose? wrapped up in the gesture? But mostly he just needs to pretend like he even wants to resist them. just a nibble.

[Damien tenses, but- Rilla doesn't respond with pain, her hand looks- fine, and she makes a small concerned noise, moving closer and curling her fingers against Arum's jaw, lifting her other hand to cup his face on the other side.]

Damien doesn't think Arum would hurt him OR Rilla, at this point, but. like. the dude did just lunge and bite his fiance's hand. I'd probably also flinch, regardless. Rilla, for her part, is. having a moment. because she was not EXPECTING him to respond quite so... emotionally? Emphatically? he shoved his face into her hand, so of course she lets her other hand join the first. Of course she cups his face like That.

["Oh," she says, more shaky than Damien is used to hearing her. Arum growls, still carefully low, and he cracks his vivid eyes open to glare at her after a moment.]

I don't want to say that Rilla forgot how bad Arum had it, but... they've been acting like penpals with a secret code for a few weeks now, and... i mean... it's ARUM. he complains, obviously, but... he downplays his own emotional reaction. He describes it dry, if he describes the actual torment at all. Right in front of her, breaking over a simple touch, it breaks her heart, too. And Arum is, of course, embarrassed. Because what's more embarrassing than this? Than falling into her hands, just because she offered?

[Do not ask why I did that, he writes without looking a the page, his handwriting only barely more shaky than normal.]

Universe forbid he expresses himself. Also, i don't think he could in ANY way articulate why the fuck that just happened. He doesn't have the benefit of my perspective as the author, lmao. He'll maybe work out what the fuck is up with himself later.

for now, though, he just... gets to feel her hands on his scales. Deliberate, and calm, and gentle.

so. yeah.

argh.

[sfsolace]

Bridging the gap

Aspects of Neurodivergence in "Hakumei & Mikochi"

Part 1: Sen and Autism

A quick disclaimer before i start: Nobody in the story has been diagnosed with anything. It's manga about tiny people living in trees and stuff. Heck, there's people in real life who are most likely neurodivergent that just can't get an appointment anywhere to get diagnosed.

That being said, I've spotted a couple of things in the manga that spoke to me and i thought I'd share my thoughts about it.

This was originally a post about multiple characters in "Hakumei & Mikochi"; but i found so much to talk about with regards to Sen, that i split it into two posts.

Also normally I post screenshots first, then i explain what's going on in the picture; for this post i will write first and follow up with the screenshot. I hope this will still make sense.

Very minor spoilers for chapter 3, 4 and 7 of the manga, major spoilers for chapter 20.

Sen clearly has some autistic traits, in my opinion. She's depicted as oblivious to social cues and she has a very calm demeanor compared to the others. She also has a different vocabulary to them, not so much that characters comment on it in the story; but noticeable enough that it sticks out.

She also has (what i would call) a hyperfixation: her research. When talking about this, Sen gets fired up and has a seemingly endless supply of things to talk about.

Also in Chapter 4, she insists that "every house needs a laboratory" and makes some... peculiar design choices that are not considering what is traditional or socially accepted.

She also has an aversion to noise, seen in this screenshot i took from a later chapter.

You can also see it in chapter 3 when she tells Hakumei to make less noise because "George the turtle skeleton doesn't like it". Now, skeletons in the story are confirmed to have sentiments like that, but it's interesting to note that George seems fine while Sen admittedly doesn't like noise. So it is possible that she just used him as an excuse to avoid conflict.

Also interesting to note that later in the same scene as the first screenshot, Conju tries to antagonize her by saying she'll write her next song just for Sen, a "difficult, demanding little ballad", obviously a veiled jab at her. Sen doesn't seem to pick up on it and seems indifferent in general.

Conju is a very allistic character in my opinion, she loves emphasis and exaggeration and she has no problems making her feelings known to people. She does have problems socializing sometimes, but that is more due to her being, for the lack of a better term, a bit extra.

This is why chapter 20 pairs up Sen and Conju and focuses on the conflict that arises from that. From what we know in the manga, a lot of people seem to be easily charmed by Conju and she relies on those skills to make friends.

These skills don't seem to work much on Mikochi, as we see in Chapter 7; and in Chapter 20 we see Conju being downright frustrated at her inability to establish a connection to Sen. This feels very relatable from an autistic perspective. She tries to communicate in the way that is familiar to her and Sen doesn't respond how she expects it.

I think the manga does a great job at highlighting that neither of them is right or wrong for feeling/communicating this way; and that, by getting over their irritation, they can actually find common ground and build a friendship.

It's also important to note that Hakumei and Mikochi can serve as a buffer between Conju's and Sen's vastly different communication styles and often make an effort to "bridge the gap". It reminds me of the scene in Dungeon Meshi, where we see how Laios relies on his sister to bridge the gap for him. (See below)

During chapter 20, we see Hakumei and Mikochi repeatedly trying to engage both Conju and Sen, trying to smooth out any misunderstandings.

After hearing Sen singing along to a song with just "Lalala", we even see Conju on her next gig, singing a popular song without lyrics, so people feel more emboldened to sing along with it. So we know that their time together has had an impact on how Conju practices her singing.

At the end of chapter 20, after their shared adventure, we see Sen actually coming to see Conju sing. She doesn't make her way all the way inside the venue, but listens in from the door, accompanied by Hakumei and Mikochi. Conju sees her friends showing up and sings the actual song she wrote for Sen. It is a calm, quiet tune; so she actually tells the fully packed bar to be quiet while she plays.

I think after a chapter filled with so much interpersonal conflict, it is a really sweet way to wrap it up. Sen, with the help of Hakumei and Mikochi, feels emboldened to try something outside of her comfort zone. And Conju learns that her allistic experience isn't universal and that she can include people who would be left out otherwise.

That's my thoughts about Sen and chapter 20, i hope it makes sense even outside my own head. ^^

I know this would be better as a companion post for chapter 20, but I that is still 20 whole weeks away and i couldn't wait that long.

I'm currently working on the second half of this post, discussing neurodivergent traits in Hakumei and Mikochi, so please stay tuned for that!

Thank you for reading!

[deathscrivener]

Ask meme

Original question.

6. Did they feel rejection or affection as a child?

((Drashok was raised by his foster mother, and she tried to do an alright job. She struggled a lot with him, they didn't have a lot, but she tried! Often brougth him to the Ilmater temple in hopes that they might be able to help him out in the ways she couldn't.

She didn't give him the tools to properly help him in the wide and dangerous world, but she raised him alright and with care.

His Deity of a father however didn't care about him what so ever besides what Drashok could do for him once he had the ability and the means to do so. Occasionally poking forth to whisper his opinions and will that would often distress, frustrate, and angered Drashok growing up from not knowing what or why he had them. ))

12. How does their education and intelligence – or lack thereof - reflect in their speech pattern, vocabulary, and pronunciations?

(( A lot here is probably a bit... off topic? But whatever. I have no idea how to explain how his education has shaped his language.

Drashok didn't get the best education in the world, he wasn't rich, didn't have private tutors, and he didn't go to magic based schools which would cost a decent bit.

He was poor growing up.

There was most likely something of a drive by the acolytes of the Ilmater temple to offer some education for those who wanted or need it, as they do a lot of different kinds of charity work around the city.

So what he does have of an education is largely self taught, and he makes an effort to try and keep on top of things. He's not awful at research, but he's not the smartest person in the world. He's a lot more practical than anything.

Normally Dwarves would have an apprenticeship type of education for their children up until their 50th birthday where they would be recognized socialy as adults. There they would do one task and become proper masters at it, think things like... smithing, baking, weaving, or any other family trade.

But since Drashok was of a shorter lived race, in a human majority city, that didn't have that kind of resources to create as strong clan structure or trade traditions... he was taken in by someone who was something of a friend\mentor figure\surrogate father figure who felt bad for Drashok and wanted to help him out at the Ilmater temple.

Drashok doesn't remember much of any of that, but his childhood and early years revolved a lot around that temple.

Drashok is also bilingual, with Dwarvish as his first language. And English\Common\Whatever the Baldurian first language is meant to be, as a second language. So he is fluid in English\Common\Whatever but with a subtle accent, that gets thicker if he's stressed, angry, or can't focus on making himself sound proper.

His vocabulary is partially from reading. He doesn't necessarily know completely the definition, just that the word sounds right in that context.

And recently as he has come across money, is kind of rich, is hiring tutors in his adult years to fill some gaps, and help in this speech to better fit among nobility.

But personally he doesn't like the whole nobility culture, frankly hates it. But he feels like he has to commit to it for more reasons than one.

Doesn't mind if he's cursing, might not always enunciate so long as he's understood. ))

13. Did they like school? Teachers? Schoolmates?

(( I think he liked learning.

Probably didn't love his teachers.

Schoolmates... I don't think he had a lot of friends. He was allowed to join in group games and activities, but he was most likely pretty lonely.))

8. How does your character feel about religion?

(( Like he said in the ask, it's his life.

He always had the Ilmater faith adjacent of him growing up, and he eventually became an Ilmater acolyte for a brief period. He looked dearly up towards the acolytes, and for all the good they had done for him all his years.

The issue was that things didn't go that way. Bhaal's influence only got stronger and stronger. His deity of a father, the God Of Murder, had other plans for him. And Drashok was easily indoctrinated into following said God Of Murder.

Out of fear of rejection, fear of himself, having broken his entire life, support system, he had nothing and no one. And his Father offered him something. Make him special...

And Drashok grabbed hold of that for dear life. And let his devotion eat him whole and make his life wholly connected to Bhaal. His Father, His Everything. A deeply codependent and toxic belief and relationship he was overjoyed to serve.

Until Bhaal threw him aside.

And he is struggling to be taken back, while hating his new keeper of a deity. His new owner who owns his body and soul.

He's scared. ))

[thetavolution]

for Bex

👄: How do they talk? What's their vocabulary like? What does their voice sound like? Any accent, verbal tics, etc?

🔮: If they were to feature in the art of a tarot card, which one would it be and why?

✍: What does your character's handwriting look like? Do they write letters often? What other contexts do they usually write in, if any?

😄: How can you tell when they're really happy? What sorts of things make them happy? How often do they smile?

🌹: Are they experienced romantically? How many romantic partners have they had? How has this affected their view of romance?

🎉: Who are their party members/companions? Describe each of their relationships with your OC (however brief or detailed you want).

Thank you for sending this in!

👄: How do they talk? What's their vocabulary like? What does their voice sound like? Any accent, verbal tics, etc?

Even in the BG3/DnD universe, she keeps her natural American accent. Her accent could be pegged as Midwestern. You can hear her speak in The Bonneville Game. (Sorry, not sorry for plugging my show lol.)

She does find roundabout ways to explain stuff sometimes. If she can't think of what something's called, she'll try to describe it via a sound effect. It doesn't always work out. She does have a pretty decent vocabulary. She reads a lot more than people expect her to. She sometimes uses antiquated sayings, especially if it brings her joy. I.E. "They've got the morbs."

🔮: If they were to feature in the art of a tarot card, which one would it be and why?

This one was tough! Hopefully I'm reading the cards properly and I'm open to critique here. I went with the Devil due to bondage and hopelessness. She only recently regained her independence. She lost a lot of years to a situation where she was enslaved. It's part of what beat her down and has her foreseeing a bleak future for herself, which is why I thought the Devil.

On the flip side, when she's doing better she would probably be the Fool. The Fool is about accepting your choices which I think she needs to do. It can also be about entering a new phase and living in the moment. At least, that's what those cards mean for her.

✍: What does your character's handwriting look like? Do they write letters often? What other contexts do they usually write in, if any?

She has a lot of distant friends that she likes to write. She actually feels like she expresses herself better in letters so she finds it freeing. She often sends a 'thinking of you' letter whenever she has a chance. Outside of that, she writes down ideas in her recipe book or catalogues recipes she's tried and liked.

Her handwriting would probably look something like this:

😄: How can you tell when they're really happy? What sorts of things make them happy? How often do they smile?

She smiles a lot, actually! It's just not a "real" smile. It's usually some kind of smirk or something to hide her real feelings. When you get to know her, you can tell the difference between the smiles. It doesn't reach her eyes when it's her normal smile.

When she's truly happy, it's usually because she's around someone or several people she cares about and feels safe with. It can happen just being around them or telling jokes. She also will give every animal on earth a real smile. Acts of kindness towards her also get her to smile. When she really feels like someone cares about her, she gives a true smile.

People usually can see it in her eyes when she finds real joy. She's also more willing to be genuinely sappy, even if she acts like it pains her.

🌹: Are they experienced romantically? How many romantic partners have they had? How has this affected their view of romance?

She's had a lot of romantic partners, including casual ones. I don't know an exact number. She's had plenty of bad relationships. She was never really shown what love is while growing up, and she doesn't think she deserves good things.

While she understands love can be a beautiful thing, she assumes it'll always be stained by misery when it comes to her. She usually just waits for the other person to decide she's too "broken" to be with.

She had one huge betrayal in the past that makes her assume everyone will betray her eventually. It's why she wasn't even that hurt by Astarion confession. Just very confused. I tend to develop things via music and three songs that sum up her romantic past are The Stranger Song, Joke's On You, and 10:15.

🎉: Who are their party members/companions? Describe each of their relationships with your OC (however brief or detailed you want).

In BG3, she's romancing Astarion. They both do the whole "I can make them worse" and accidentally make each other better thing. Astarion is also the first person to force her to notice she actually does do good things for people.

She ends up being shocked by the effect she has on everyone else. She definitely likes to tease Lae'zel and Lae'zel eventually warms up to it. They earn each other's respect. Bex has a soft spot for Wyll, but she's terrified of the world chewing him up and spitting him out. (It already kind of did.) She questions "who protects the protector" in his case.

She thinks Shadowheart is genuinely hilarious and likes spending time with her, especially when she renounces Shar. They 100% talk shit together. Of course, Bex adores Karlach because it's Karlach. Karlach is someone who can always get a real smile out of her. They crack each other up. She loves to tease Gale, but it's always a mutual playful thing with each other. She respects him and she would stab Mystra in the eye if she could. When people outside of the group make fun of Gale, she gets angry. To steal a line from Bob's Burgers, "Messing with Gale is a privilege, not a right."

She has a fling with Halsin with Astarion consent, of course. Halsin helped raise her self-esteem up. She and Astarion will probably invite him into their lives in the future. She also wants to be Jaheira when she "grows up." I accidentally killed Minthara on her run so... no Minthara lol. Minsc cracks her up and she just can't not love that guy.

In original story adventures, she hangs with Minty, Laura, and Ingrid. Minty entertains her to no end and her earnestness is endearing to her. Minty accepts Bex as part of her found family. Minty breaks down her walls and Bex starts to open up around her.

Laura doesn't like her as much at first, but they don't hate each other. They bond over their sense of humor over time. They start being each other's wingmen, too.

Ingrid was a little scared of her at first. When Ingrid realizes she's not so bad, she starts to open up to Bex. Bex treats her more like a little sister. She's more gentle with her, but also tries to get her to stand up for herself... and she likes messing with her. Ingrid is easy to fluster. Ingrid eventually stands up for herself more, with Bex's help, and starts to rib Bex in return.

[gettothedancing]

Dating and Religion

Whenever I get to know someone new via a dating site, we eventually start talking about religion. That's pretty essential to get right, and it usually comes up organically since I work in a religious field that is both obscure and misunderstood. (I've tried to find a guy within my church. I'd still like to! But with a church that is both small and aging rapidly, I've had little luck there. Hence dating sites.) Invariably, the guy and I don't agree on something. Our vocabulary is often vastly different when discussing theological concepts. So even if we do agree, we might not realize it immediately. But the conversations are always interesting and a necessary part of my dating process.

I told my sister about a misunderstanding/disagreement in the current conversation, and she asked why I'm 'wasting my time with 'spiritual midgets.' The question is blatantly unfair. How can I know a man's spiritual ideas from his profile? Most men don't put anything but the most shallow or simple spiritual indicators on their profiles. I've talked to men in the same denomination who held vastly different views time and time again. I have learned not to assume from a quick label what someone thinks about religion and God. Since, as mentioned, I cannot simply find someone in my own denomination, I have to go through this process to find anyone with similar values outside of it. (She married an agnostic who shares her values and is a good guy. But when I talk to agnostics and don't immediately find someone similar, I'm wasting my time?)

It's also so annoying to be asked why I 'waste' my time getting to know the men I'm interested in dating. That's literally the point of dating. The whole point.

My sister had ONE boyfriend, the man who is now her husband. She never had a blind date, never was stood up, and never had to do any dating apps or sites to find someone. He pursued her and she acquiesced after getting to know him as a friend.

Although I continue to work on myself (becoming more fit, organized, put-together), I have no guarantees of being pursued in a similar fashion. I don't even hope for it anymore. I just haven't figured out how to meet men in any organic way. I'm not a hermit, but no one approaches people in public anymore, and since I can't drink I don't go to bars or nightclubs. (Plus I work evenings so doing so doesn't fit my schedule anyway.) Or maybe men do still ask women out in public places and I'm just too ugly for anyone to ask me. Who knows? The only way to meet men for me seems to be dating sites. So there's always a talking phase. It feels really unfair for someone so lucky as my sister to denigrate my attempts to connect with a man who might share my values as a waste of time.

I keep hoping that if I can be fit and pretty enough, I will meet someone a normal way and not feel like I have to be on a dating site to talk to anyone who isn't my family or a coworker. People mock the shit out of dating sites on here, so I don't talk about my experiences often. The last time I expressed frustration about them, someone I didn't even know had the gall to tell me I was dumb for being on a site at all, as if a dating site has never helped anyone and shouldn't even be an option. I would rather not be on these sites. I frequently take breaks from them or try new ones. But when you have no other way to try and find a partner, they aren't an option I can just discard. You shouldn't mock someone for trying what they feel is their only option.

As for the actual conversation, I said something, and the guy said, "Oh I agree," followed by several examples of the exact opposite of what I had said. And when I tried to explain again, assuming he had misread, he again claimed to agree with me and then demonstrated that he didn't understand what he was agreeing with. So that's frustrating.

[kuiperror]

i watched the 2015 film "the danish girl" for my english class and i have to write an essay thats due eod tomorrow SO to get my juices a flowin i'm gonna review the movie here first. spoilers from here on out duh

So this movie was kind of 😐. i knew about lili elbe and gerda wegerner way before this movie , im not like a historian on them but i know that gerda supported lili in her transition and they were still very much together and in love up until the last years of lili's life in 1930 shortly after their marriage was dissolusioned since lilli transitioned and their marriage couldn't be recognized anymore. Also like gerda was a huuuugee woman lover she painted a lot of lesbian erotic art. i was actually really confused most of the film like "ok when is gerda going to start accepting lili and theyre going to be happy with eachother?" but i guess portraying gerda as anything but straight is too much somehow and she needs to rely on a man to help her process the horrible situation of her wife discovering who she is and medically + socially transitioning :(

obviously that was sarcasm , but that does happen in the film. Ok to be real, i will probably finish writing this post, draft a few pages of my essay and rewatch the film again in the morning because im having trouble processing this movie. its earnestly coming off as a nothing burger to me. i was keeping an open mind about how they portray lili's gender awakening and her subsequent female persona as a different person where lili can only be "einar" or "lili" depending on what she is physically presenting as, because this is set in the 1920s and obviously they do not have the same vocabulary and terms for things we do, hindsight is 20/20, that sort of thing. but like. i really expected them to steer away from that way of presenting things, because in the modern-day most (and yes. generalizing but thats how the cookie crumbles in analysis situations) transgender people view their agab self and their "transitioned" self as the same person, because. you really are the same person, you just look differently, a way that is more conjunct with your perception of your gender identity. so i was really expecting lili to start thinking of herself as both "lili" and "einar" or like explain to gerda that she is still the same person she knew, just different, in a way. but no, they keep going on with the "two identities" thing, and while that probably is the way that Real Life lili thought of herself, if the story is going to divert from reality then you can absolutely use fictionilization to your advantage to more clearly explain transgender identities to your cis audience .

one thing i did Not really like was the fact that lili's gender euphoria was always tied with her sexuality. and like. yeah gender ties with sexuality, duh, i would be a fool if i acted like they were seperate, but for lili biggest moments of gender euphoria are portrayed as sensual sexual pleasure. like when a naked gerda pulls off lili's male clothing to reveal a silky camisole underneath or when lili goes to a live peep show and mimics the girl inside, trying to learn to act feminine but stops when the girl sees her (as lili is presenting masculine and doesn't want to raise suspicion) but eventually she loses herself in the pleasure and continues to mimic the girl until she reaches down and remembers she has a penis instead of a vagina and its like... normally i would be cool with this kind of sexual portrayal if this movie was written or directed by a trans person or like 1:1 based off of a trans person's experience but this movie is Obviously made for cis people by cis people. and i would say that a LOT of cishet people, even those who are "allies", think that queer identities are inherently sexual. thats why they say that "children can't be in queer relationships" or that "all trans women / trans people are perverts" because they cant imagine divorcing queerness from sex. and just like the way that the movie refers to lili as having "two identities", this REALLY isnt helping cis audiences understand transppl better.

i think that this movie is helping american society step away from the bare minimum idea that trans ppl (but basically just trans women) are manipulating / abnormal and should only be used in media to point and laugh and say "EWWW the main character had sex with them that's disgusting!!" or "this Trans character is the Villain and they are SOOOO unhinged!" in horror and shit. but it isnt that good at representing like. nuance in gender identity or things like that .

K going to take a break and then continue slaving away at my keyboard

[tears-of-boredom]

i fucking cant stand centrists.

"if Palestinians stopped fighting back, israel would kill them all"

"well we cant know that for sure"

???? like genuinely what the fuck. i tried to explain that israeli heads of state have literally repeatedly stated that they would not stop, but then he just said:

"i think it would be ideal if suddenly all the fighting just stopped and everyone lived in peace"

basing your morals on hypotheticals that will realistically never come true, and then acting like anyone who doesn't do so is actually just a stupid pessimist.

i need to learn a couple words in finnish because it pisses me the hell off not being able to actually use the terms i know.

he even had the fucking gaull to say:

"well israel is recognised as a country by so many states. they're even in the Olympics"

if that is the metric you use to determine whether a state is genocidal or not, then genuinely just, what the fuck is wrong with you.

you know that illegal states can still be recognised as states by other countries right? you know that other countries will have reasons to do so, right? you know that western countries aren't some divine speaker on whether a state has the right to exist. right? you're just being stupid on purpose right? because you think a child wouldn't understand the actual reasoning behind your viewpoint. right?

and also he said that the ICJ throws out so many rulings and stuff that this one, the one saying that Israel is an illegal settlement and should withdraw, doesnt hold that much weight.

imagine if courts actually worked like that.

"yeah so we've already handled like 4 cases, so this ruling shouldnt matter that much"

oh my god. and.

the way that adults act like "politics" is this like. idk like,, seperate thing from the rest of a person. as if your political views are just assigned at random, and dont reflect your character at all.

i fucking hate being surrounded by centrist adults.

literally even my fucking teacher could agree with me that my history textbook was biased towards israel. and she's definetly the type to say "i support peace" whenever you ask her about any complicated conflict going on.

i dont remember if there was an ICJ ruling on this actually. i know that they gave an advisory opinion at least. hold on. okay yeah it was an Advisory Opinion, and is also referred to as a ruling? i guess im not really clear on what the difference between the two is.

ok wait I found something

"Tuomioistuimen antamat lausunnot eivät ole muodollisesti sitovia, mutta käytännössä sen arvovalta on niin suuri, että sen lausunnoilla on yhtä suuri painoarvo kuin sitovalla päätöksellä."

(^via: Suomen YK-liitto)

also some vocabulary, which im not sure are completely correct:

occupation = miehitys

apartheid = apartheidia

oppressor = sortaja

oppressed = sorrettu

definetly correct ones:

ICJ = Kansainvälinen tuomioistuin

ICC = Kansainvälinen rikostuomioistuin

(UN = Yhdistyneet Kansakunnat)

Advisory Opinion = neuvoa-antava mielipide/lausunto

and I think this is about right:

country = valtio

state = valta

[kinetic-elaboration]

February 13: Random Jane and IIFY Thoughts

Fell asleep on my couch today after work so... that's good, that's a good sign.

I was thinking a little about the Jane and Allison story line in IIFY, for not much reason at all, and thought I might write down my general impressions of it. When I watched it in HS I was fascinated by queer stuff but would not have been able to tell you why (truly), and it was hard to actually get a copy of IIFY, so I heard a lot about the story before I actually saw it. I do think I was disappointed, at the time because it wasn't queer enough--though that's not the way I would have put it--and now I'd say I still have issues with it, specifically that it gets cut off pretty abruptly.

It's like part of a story. But even that I don't hate... my interpretation is that it is as much of the story as Jane could have experienced at that time.

I really do read Jane as bi and part of that I guess is self-serving lol but part of it actually IS IIFY, even though I think the intention of that plot line was to bring us to the opposite conclusion. Probably for most people it did. The idea is that confident Jane Lane has a crisis of identity, that what's really rattled her is the situation with Daria and Tom, but instead of facing it head on she faces it through this other lens, doubting a different part of her identity. She's vulnerable to being manipulated by Allison because she's uncharacteristically unsure of herself. And that Allison rattles her so much is only possible because her confidence is so shattered.

But here's the thing. Allison DOES rattle her. I mean I have no experience to speak from but I feel like a person confident in her heterosexuality would just say, no, for real, I'm straight, and then move on. Jane protests but she's clearly, clearly contemplating the idea that Allison is right, that Allison has some inherent Bi Girl Gaydar and she's found Jane out. What was the painting of herself in the safe? It's not a closet, but it's cramped, it's confused, it's scared. Again, I think it's just supposed to be emphasis: she trusts herself THAT little. But I think it completely and easily leaves the door open to interpret Jane as queer specifically by how she reacts to the idea that she is.

It's also telling to me that she and Allison never actually discuss it. She discusses it with no one, actually--except maybe Daria, but that talk is off screen, so we don't know how much of it is serious and how much just a joke. (Until she got fresh... lol!) Jane is deeply thrown by the encounter--and it could be for any number of reasons, including that Allison was really forceful with her, in a way that could have made anyone, of any sexuality, uncomfortable--and when she approaches Allison later, she seems to want to go over the conversation again. But Allison cuts off the thought, and the whole plot line, immediately: she just outright says she has no gaydar, she was wishful thinking, it's fine, some people are straight I guess. So really what's happened is that another character has BOTH brought Jane to question her sexuality and then deposited her right back into the 'oh phew, I'm straight' camp. Jane doesn't work these questions out. She just follows Allison along. And when she finds out not only that Allison was sort of drunk-bluffing about her confidence levels AND that she's kind of a hypocrite about pretentious art types, she just lets it all go. Even if she were into girls, she wouldn't be into THIS girl. How convenient. It's a completely aborted story line, and Jane is never in the driver's seat of it.

Plus, like, she's 17 or 18 years old. She's not quite yet a senior in high school. And it's c.2000 and she lives in the suburbs. I'm a little bit younger and grew up in what I consider a pretty accepting environment, with a pretty decent vocabulary about sexuality, but I had straight up crushes on girls in HS I couldn't name. It's so hard to explain if you haven't lived it but sometimes you just don't have the concepts yet; you just don't have the words. I actually think this is extra true for bi people because we have a vocabulary and a world view available to us already that we really don't need to question: Jane does like guys, and there's no falsehood to that. Why think any farther? I would be sort of surprised if Jane did, actually. She didn't have the time in Ashfield or with Allison to see the inner conversation through.

[anis-book-club]

review: the cuban girl's guide to tea and tomorrow by laura taylor namey

read: 21 january 2024—22 january 2024

medium: audiobook

⭐️2/5

every time i think about this book i want to drop half a star from my rating.

it's okay. it will stay at a 2/5 for now.

usually i don't take the time to actually review a book because i am busy and tired, but i just keep thinking about how much i want to talk about my issues with this book.

i think this book really bothers me because i lived lila's eventual dream life. i moved from the united states to england for university three years ago, and there are a couple of things that just felt really off about lila's character arc and the characterisation of the british characters.

as i said, i'm american and therefore i don't have much claim to knowing exactly how british people act and speak, and that awareness made me wonder if laura taylor namey had it right and i was wrong. later i spoke to my british flatmate and she sort of validated some of my issues with how the british characters spoke—namely that i think i heard/read the word "bloody" more times in the less-than-nine-hours duration of this novel than i have in the entirety of my three years living in the u.k. there may be some regional and generational differences in speech, but "bloody" doesn't really seem to be a prominent staple in british gen z slang in my limited experience. it honestly felt like an american-held stereotype of british speech given personality (and not all that much personality if i'm being honest).

moving on.

i felt like the writing of lila's coming to love england wasn't done very well. this is something that i closely understand and identify with, and the way it was handled in this novel felt very abrupt and awkward. if you're going to tell me that lila 'loves england', you have to show me as well, and i don't think that was accomplished. i took greater issue to it because a big part of her monologues about 'loving england' was that, for her, england was tied to orion. it started to feel like she only loved england because she loved orion. this isn't strictly true, and i think she does cite a few other reasons why she wanted to stay in england, but tellingly, i don't remember what any of them were. i know that not every person who moves to england will fall in love with it the way i did, but i remember being absolutely in wonder at the architecture, the culture, the atmosphere, the transportation links, the blend of modernity and antiquity, and so much more. i didn't get that feeling from lila's narration, and i think more time should have gone into exploring that.

a couple of very small lines at the end compounded this feeling of "that's not how that works". the first was a conversation between lila and pilar, where she says the word "petrol" instead of "gas". the second was her telling orion that she had submitted an application to a university in london and started applying for her student visa.

let me explain.

in my experience, vocabulary shifts take a lot of time. when you grow up into early adulthood saying one thing, it's not going to take only two and a half months for you to slip out of that and randomly start using another word. there are certainly some british words that someone might intentionally switch to using as opposed to the american equivalent.

for me, that was words like 'uni(versity)' over 'college' and, more recently (as in, in the last four months or so), 'trousers' over 'pants'. these are both because 'college' and 'pants' mean something different in england than they do back home, and i use these words daily to discuss my uni work. also, to me, 'petrol' is such a random choice. in my entirety of living here, i've probably heard the word 'petrol' only a handful of times. granted, i live in london where i and all of my friends use public transportation, which might not be the case for lila—i can't remember.

regardless, my point is that if your vocabulary is going to shift within only two months, it's going to be a word you use and hear daily, and you'd probably have to put the mental awareness into using the new word. her slipping up speaking to her american sister and saying 'petrol' just doesn't seem realistic. there is a plethora of more common words that namey could have used to make it more believable.

finally, i think i had a visible and audible reaction to the student visa comment. in public.

this was such a small comment in the grand scheme of the novel but it made me wonder if namey had researched at all how applying for a student visa from the u.s. to the u.k. works. if all of my above points are strictly subjective and reliant on my individual experience, this is the single point i will make that is based in facts.

the specific statement is something like "i applied [to the uni] and started my student visa application this morning" (i'm not entirely sure of the wording nor punctuation, i no longer have access to the book). i read this as she'd submitted her application to study and her application for a student visa on the same day, but i will allow that it could be read as she had submitted her application to study on an earlier date and had started the visa process that morning.

it doesn't matter which interpretation is the correct one because it doesn't make sense logistically either way. i've had to apply for two student visas over my three years of studying so far. to apply for a student visa, you need a number code that is given to you from the school after you've been accepted. for both courses i was accepted into, the application process started in february or march at the very latest, and it took over a month for me to be accepted. from then, it took a few months for me to even get that number code so i could start the visa application. you can't really get very far in the visa application process without that code because it's the thing that tells the u.k. government that you have a school sponsoring your residency.

even if she applied to the school as soon as she got home (and she didn't), there would still only be two weeks between then and her telling orion that she had started the visa process, which is definitely not enough time at all. it's such a small detail, but that was the final straw for any believability i might have given the novel credit for previously. it made me feel like this wasn't a well-researched novel, which is a shame, because i do believe that namey really loves england, and i wish she had let this interest show in her work.

if i didn't have these experiences, i don't think i would have noticed these inconsistencies and misrepresentations.

anyway, i read this book because i learnt while doing research for an essay that kit connor is cast in the movie adaptation. will i still be watching the movie? yes. because while it lacked depth and all i have done in this review is discuss some of its faults, it was still a sweet and relatively enjoyable read. i definitely think that the movie has the potential to be a very lighthearted and easy thing to watch.

tl;dr because i recognise that this review is, indeed, too long: this book was cute and lighthearted, though it lacked the sort of depth i usually look for in novels. there were a lot of inconsistencies in the writing of the british characters and lila's love for england that bothered me because they paralleled my own experiences, but not well. i recognise that this might be entirely subjective and someone else could find that lila's story was a great representation of their individual experience.